Have we lost the ability to connect?

It has been two months since I last posted a blog post. Life has been chaotic, to say the least and because of that chaos, my creativeness has been nonexistent. But now here I am, moved into our new house, unpacked (for the most part) and I can feel the creative juices starting to stir again. So, I'm sitting here at my desk, thinking about what has been on my mind for the last week or so and I know has been on other peoples' minds as well...Where has our connection gone?

As I drive around my new suburb, I can't help but see people walking along the sidewalk or waiting for buses, etc. The one thing that nearly every single one of them has in common is that they are all head down, shoulders hunched over, staring at their screens. There is minimal interaction with the environment around them. I was on the train the other day and it was so refreshing to see an older woman reading a physical book and another woman doing some hand sewing; feeding their souls, not numbing them out.

Technology has given us the ability to connect with anyone, anywhere in the world, both quickly and easily and yet we are experiencing more isolation, more disconnection than ever before. Anxiety and depression are prevalent in kids as young as seven who seem to have no knowledge of how to connect physically with others and their surroundings. Their interaction skills are quite low. Have we been brainwashed into thinking that technology and social media are the only ways to connect?

I am, by nature, an introvert. People think that means, that as an introvert, I don't like to socialise or be around others, but as a human being, it is in my genetic makeup to want to connect physically face-to-face with others. As an introvert I still need that connection, just maybe not as much as someone who is an extravert. I know my limits and when I need to, I withdraw and clear my energy and rebuild it to be able to fully be present in the next social interaction. We all need other people, so why do we create and favour technology that takes this away from us?

I am so glad that I grew up in the 70s and 80s when there was no social media or smart devices. I know it sounds clichéd but I seriously feel that kids had it better back then. I don't want to trivialise what kids went through back then, that's not what this is about. I just feel there wasn't as much pressure to grow up so fast. Yes, we still had ideals that we wanted to emulate, like being one of the cool kids, or having the latest fashion item, but nowadays, kids have that pressure on a global scale, not just from their local environment. Plus they have these unrealistic realities forced upon them on social media and have even more pressure to apply the same unrealistic ideals to their own lives.

We have been trained to rely so heavily on social media and technology that we feel so lost without it! Why are we giving our power away to governments and global conglomerates?

So what happens to us if one day we wake up and social media has vanished and smart devices are no longer smart? How do we still connect and carry on with our day-to-day life and businesses? For a lot of us, I think it would be very hard to adjust to not having everything at our fingertips. Some people would lose all their "friends" instantly, because they have focused on nurturing friendships with people they haven't actually met and have dropped all friendships just outside their door. Would our ability to foster physical, face-to-face relationships come back to us? Is it still hidden somewhere dormant inside of us, waiting for that moment, like a seed in the desert, for the rains to come so that it can bloom once more? I certainly hope so, but why wait. Why not start to foster real life, real time connections today.

We need these types of connections to hone our senses, our intuition, so that we can sense who is genuine and who is not. On the web, people can be anyone they want to be, but face-to-face they can only be themselves. You would learn to soon see through someone who is not genuine, not there to benefit both parties. The most important part of building up real time, face-to-face connections is that it is so good for our mental and emotional health. It doesn't even have to be people that you connect to; get out into nature, connect to the wildlife, get to learn to recognise the birds in your area. All of it is connection and it is something that we crave.

Keep your friendships going by meeting up regularly either for coffee or dinner. Join groups so that you meet like-minded people (much easier to connect with people who get you). Socialise with family and friends and remember to tell them how much you appreciate their friendship. Volunteer. Say hello to strangers. Sometimes you may be the only person they speak to that day. Build connections where you can.

If you have a business that you run predominantly on social media or the internet, then start looking at ways of building connections locally. Organise physical meet ups with potential clients. Start a mailing list (snail mail and email driven). Rent a space where you can physically see clients. Advertise in your local papers or put business cards up on noticeboards. Volunteer so you can show off your skills and get more word-of-mouth referrals. If you still have a Yellow Pages in your area, look at advertising in that. When the internet goes down, this is where people will be heading.

I know this all sounds very archaic and old school. Well that's because it is! Things need to be stripped back to basics. Sure you can have all the digital paraphernalia but make sure you are making physical, face-to-face connections as well, building relationships that will last through any storm.

Until next time...

Photo Credit: Sebastián León Prado - Unsplash

Photo Credit: Caroline Hernandez - Unsplash